"Any person who forms an opinion or firm conviction based on information gleaned from a single source is a fool. No one tells %100 percent truth and no one tells %100 percent lies. The real story always lies somewhere between two stories. Even your enemy holds half of the truth."
Original
"The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf."Will Rogers
"Criminal: a person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation."Howard Scott
"I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia."Woody Allen
"Have no friends not equal to yourself."Confucious (Mistaking it at first for arrogance or class-ism, I had to think hard on this one. Yeah, I think it's true.)
"Wherever you come near the human race, there's layers and layers of nonsense."Thornton Wilder
"There is no nonsense so gross that society will not, at some time, make a doctrine of it and defend it with every weapon of communal stupidity."Robertson Davies
"We rarely think people have good sense unless they agree with us."Francois de La Rochefoucauld
"When you go into court, you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty."Norm Crosby
"Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or a fool from any direction."
Danny Saradon
"It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it is told." "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again."
"Yes it will, Precious, won't it? It will get the hose!" "Now it places the lotion in the basket. Put the....lotion in the basket!"
Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs
Submitted by Scott Graley
"There's nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly."Buckminster Fuller
"Money doesn't always bring happiness. People with ten million dollars are no happier than people with nine million dollars."Hobart Brown
"Be sure you're right, then go ahead."Davy Crocket
Submitted by John "Wonder Pop" Caetta
"Get the facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please."Mark Twain
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt."Bertrand Russel
"Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning."George Carlin
"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing."Redd Foxx
"Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three major categories - those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost."
